Me: Married, busy, impatient bordering on impulsive. Healthy appetite for internet access.

You: Internet service provider who can provide wireless connection that remains constantly strong and consistently available.

I like to type and tweet far into the night, and I need an ISP who will be there for me. ISPs who experience seasonal fluctuations need not respond.

If I have to repair our connection several times a week, there’s going to be trouble in paradise. If you can please me (and I am notoriously demanding and difficult to please) I will reward you with referrals to all of my friends and relatives. If a customer service representative asks me to move my desktop computer to every phone jack in the house in an effort to remotely repair the connection, I am going to refuse.

Please respond with your best offer. No nude pics.