Here are just a few of the many reasons I will never be a flight attendant:

  • Snakes on a plane Really.
  • Being considered by the TSA to be an “additional security layer” along with: “armed air marshals, bulletproof cockpit doors, pilots carrying firearms, flight crews trained in self-defense and ‘a vigilant traveling public who have demonstrated a willingness to intervene.’ “
  • Mainly, though, it’s because customer service jobs suck. I worked with the public long enough to know that most people are insane. Put them in a shaking, shimmying metal tube with crying babies, then give them alcohol and take away their internet privileges? Recipe for disaster. No wonder flight attendants “pull a Slater.”


Have you seen the Breast Milk Baby doll? According to many news sites, parents are outraged, calling the doll inappropriate. At about $100, I’ll just call it expensive. Also unneccessary. My own kids breast-fed and gave pretend birth to their regular $10 baby dolls. Hey, a thought: what if we make a Just Birthed Baby doll? Bad thought, probably. If modern parents characterize breast-feeding as sexual, giving birth would be downright pornographic. It is a wonder that we manage to continue reproducing.