Our Motto: Only good news, even if we have to lie.
Despite recent reporting by the other CNN, the Commonsense News Network finds that a vigorous sex life is beneficial to one’s well-being. In addition to physical satisfaction, an aerobic workout can be acheived, allowing couples to reach the highly sought after “killing two birds with one stone” status. Polls conducted by CsNN correspondents reveal that many people seek to have more frequent sexual relations with their partners. Reasons stated were:
- showing love for their partner
- increased immune system
- sleeping better
- “because he/she was there”
In other news, many parents claim to enjoy their children. Despite the “economic and emotional drain” that children become, numerous parents continue to love, feed, discipline, teach and play with their children. Stunningly, parents report feelings of happiness whilst simultaneously nursing babies, debating curfews with teenagers and procuring snack foods for seven-year-olds. In lieu of glorifying their lives, many parents choose exercise, reading romance novels, hiding in the bathroom or knocking back a few vodka martinis at the end of the day.
In a CsNN exclusive, Apple executives admit that “money rules” and they are willing to pimp any product if profit is likely. CsNN reporter KMKovalick stated “we weren’t really surprised.”