We are trying to figure out a way to bathe our fully clawed, bad-ass, indoor-outdoor cat. He is frequently gone for days at a time, and when he returns, his long, silky fur stinks like boy cat. For about a year, our other cat would spend hours cleaning him. The bathing was so intense that watching it felt like an invasion of their privacy. Alas, the bromance is over.

Since every human in the house is terrified of the razor-sharp claws, and the other feline has officially broken-up with him, Bear must be bathed in some kind of mechanized fashion. Some ideas:

  • squirt some soap on his back and tie him out in the rain (with a harness and leash)
  • squirt soap on him while he is asleep, toss him quickly into a pillowcase and hose him down
  • some kind of soap, kiddie-pool, hose combination
  • regular bathtub pet bathing with addition of hawking gauntlets or welding gloves and hockey mask
  • banishment to outdoors when weather breaks

We’ll probably go with banishment. Cats come from far and wide to give birth under our porches. We have the deluxe birth/recovery/nursery suite of every mother cat’s dream. It is difficult to give away one litter of kittens. Giving away multiple litters every year is impossible. I have found that if I let my children play with the kittens, the mother cat will sometimes move them to the neighbor’s house instead. Then we can visit instead of hosting.

 

I watched Star Trek again yesterday, the 2009 movie version. I believe the Starfleet uniform is every bit as sexy as a fireman’s uniform. I’m thinking Halloween costumes, family style. I hope a sequel is made, with all or most of the same actors. On a related note, I’m trying to track down a Humphrey Bogart movie. I can’t remember the name of it, but it was a departure from his usual film noir type. He was the bad guy, a murderous husband who poisoned his wife’s milk. When the cops come at the end of the movie to arrest him, he says something like “Can I get you a glass of milk?” If anybody knows the name, drop me a line please.

 

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