One of the common search terms that brings readers to my blog is “marriage fraud” or “marriage under fraudulent circumstances.” I was not aware of the scope of this crime. It appears that folks are getting married left and right in order to gain citizenship. I am curious about the kind of person who marries an alien for no other reason than to help them. Surely they must get something out of the marriage. Money? Property? A date for their sister’s wedding? Oh, wait. I think that was a movie.

What about actual extraterrestrial marriages? Surely one could have that annulled. Annulment is like a little bit of denial magic, isn’t it?  That period of time when you were living with, having sex with, making dinner with, making kids with that other person?  That. Never. Really. Happened.I am trying to understand why someone would strive to have a significant portion of their life erased. Even if the marriage was an utter disaster, it was yours. You regained your senses and now it’s over.

A wedding should be just this simple: after getting to know your partner (this is the hard part), you make the choice to marry. You and your partner, alone or in front of close friends and family, promise to be the one to… whatever it is that you two choose.  Every couple has their own agreement, despite what the vows say. Religious oversight optional. File a form at the courthouse in case of death or incapacitation. Done. No blood tests, no medical exam. No choice between regular marriage and Covenant marriage (remember that? It’s still an option.) No civil unions. This is not a complicated issue. It is the actual relationships that are complicated. If two people decide to wade into the thicket of partnership and all the nuanced communication and decision-making associated with such a partnership, more power to them.

No more ranting. My beautiful daughter and I made this delicious peanut butter banana bread today, from Joy the Baker. We decided to add dark chocolate chips, natch. We left out the cinnamon, allspice and peanuts, and used two teaspoons of vanilla extract instead, to better complement the chocolate. Georgia must be maturing, because she didn’t flinch when we added the whole wheat flour or the flaxseed meal.

I have done a cursory study of Twitter identities, specifically looking for people tweeting as historical figures. Interestingly, Emily Dickinson, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Buddha, Almighty God and other positive figures are represented. The only evil Twitter re-incarnation that I have found so far is Hitler. No Stalin, Genghis Khan, William the Conqueror or Attila the Hun. They have mentions, but no-one is tweeting in their name. I think this is positive. Sure, there are still plenty of racist, sexist, misogynistic assholes out and about, but perhaps they are not educated enough to invoke historical bad-asses in their social-networking. One can hope.

 

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