• Heating the county gym with the residual heat from the neighboring crematorium
  • Leaving Floam where the dog can eat it. This causes an unpleasant urgency in the dog.
  • Waiting until 11pm to write your blog post.
  • Purple eyeshadow. (If only my 12-year-old self could read this.)
  • Giving your six-year-old chai with dinner.
  • The Bachelor
  • High heeled shoes. Always a bad idea.
  • Messing with Texas. (That’s what I’ve heard anyway.)
  • Making fun of your boss before looking to see who’s standing behind you. Just trust me on this one.
  • Waxing off your eyebrows and then drawing them back on.
  • Letting your kid watch Gene Wilder movies. Unless you like hearing your six-year-old sing “we like drinking sexy wine” daily for 6 weeks.
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